The New Deal for Newcastle United

This photo sums up what has been going on in the EPL as of late.  Last weekend saw the entire top 4 draw without a single goal.  Now similar shinanigans are happening this weekend and in the Champions league as well.

Maybe its the cold weather, maybe its thoes lazy strikers, but I tend to think there has just been a lot of great defending.

A prime example, and a player that I want to highlight as one of my favorites to watch since the season began.  This is none other than Newcastle United's Fabrizio Coloccini.  I watched this guys defending against Manchester United at the begining of the season and truly beleived he was going to be a crucial part success for Newcastle.  He's big, fast and lanky and is an absolute brick wall for any kind of cross comming inside the box.  Using a skilled defensive line, Newcastle have been able to draw 2 points from their away encounters at both Standford Bridge and Old Trafford.  

Many people beleive the Premier League is about the big-four clashes, but in many cases this certainly isn't true.  Being able to grind out these kind of results away are what is keeping Newcastle above the relegation zone and preventing the big four from actually gaining ground on each other.  Its a dangerous way of playing, and by no means is it entertaining for the fans, but I beleive that what makes a team or a manager is their ability to know when to sit on the back heal and weather the storm.

So I have advice for the folks at St. Jame's park.  Defend for your lives boys.  Thats right, bard up the doors, shackle it up and get ready for a long seige.

Everyone knows the piles of problems going on at Newcastle.  From the managerial problems, boardroom problems and the fact that Joey Barton (everyones favorite scumbag) is now injured.  The only good they can really do is to just go Greek style and put all men back and hope for the best.

So in light of this, I have compiled a buying list of what the ideal Newcastle side should be come the January transfer window:

There are a number of reasons why this works for Newcastle:

a) You aren't scoring any goals now, so what's the bloody difference?

b)  If you turn Richard Dunne around, or get him to run backwards maybe he will score goals on the apposing goal instead of his own goal.

c) Defenders are CHEAP.

Gypsy King

Good evening my friends. I've been on this thing called Facebook. And somehow I think the guys who run the place have finally started leaking all my personal information to companies. Yeah, like we didn't all see that coming from a mile away. Either way, I have been getting frequent requests for my Premier League Picks.

And I did it.

Now press play on the Youtube video above and become lost in the music as we delve into this weekends action.

Look into my Crystal Ball....loook deeper...deeeeeeper...

I see Liverpool and Chelsea continueing their winning streaks. Yes!

I see Villa tieing Man U and Hull are going to upset Pompey!  

I see the boys at Tottenham getting their winning ways back!

Okay lets snap out of it and look at my predictions for the weekend:

Now, I am going to go through this list on Monday and post my stats to see if I am any good at this. If its anything like my Fantasy Football skills, I will probably looking very much in the red.

Thank god I'm not a gamblin' man.

Either way, if I get all of these right, I think someone should buy me a delicious meal and watch a game with me on the weekend!

Tuesday Triple Sampler

Keeping with Mondays silly post on Rory Delap (well not that funny if your an Arsenal or Villa fan), I scrounged up some more football bloopers.

I think its much better to look at this stuff mid-week than all the lame transfer drama and managerial jargon. If you notice, I don't concentrate on that stuff. Never have and hopefully never will.

I found these all on viralvideochart.com, which is one of my favorite new websites. Its great for finding whats popular on Youtube.

Here are some of this weeks favorites:


1. Stupid Silly Goals

2. 2 Goals in 30 Seconds

3. Chris Iwelumo misses open goal

Muscley Arms

If you haven't been looking at Stoke City, and haven't seen there secret weapon. Let me bring you up to speed:



Seeing how its Monday morning and I have a super busy day I am going to share with you some funny photoshop jobs on Mr. Rory's muscley arms and absolute throw-in power.  Enjoyeeee!

PHOTOS THAT MAKE YOU LAWL

A Thrilla from Villa

Earlier this week, Michael Essien publicly criticized Arsenal, say they were all style, no substance. Couldn't agree with you more, sir. You called it!

Enough about Arsenal though, lets talk about Villa.

Villa played this game very well. In all aspects they looked like a great team. Offensively they were all over Arsenal, comfortable playing the game in front of the Aresenal goal as well as maintaining a rock solid defence. An early attempt by Gareth Barry showed the strength and versatility this team has.

Everyone talks about how "beautiful" Arsenal's passing is, but today Villa look much more stylish and displayed way more strength in the midfield. And nothing is more ugly than sloppy defending, which was the cause of both of Villas goals:





Its a shame Villalost to Newcastle a couple of weeks ago because this team has so much potential of breaking the top 4.

A Culinary Guide to Football

Top of the Mornin' to you.


Ahead of another weekend of Premier League action, I want to discuss some of the best of the best foods to pig out on while watching a game. These are a list of the top 5 foods to eat out at a pub, in a stadium or standing on a street corner watching the game through the window of a local television store.

5. English Breakfast / Pint of Ale / Cup of Coffee

This is the favorite of the North American soccer viewer. In order to catch lots of games, we have to drag our ass to the pub early in the morning. Arriving as early as 8am on a Saturday sometimes a greasy breakfast + a coffee + a pint of beer is perfect for watching any English or Scottish league game. Coffee does wonders in cleaning your pallet each time for a wonderful taste sensation of a piss-warm English ale. MMm mmm good!

4. Burek

Whether you are preparing for a football riot on the streets of Belgrade for the next Red stars game, or sitting in with your Nana having a cuppa tea and watching the game on the flat screen, this eastern-European treat is a versatile and delicious snack. Again greasy as hell and probably goes well with beer. The best thing about this is that its shaped like a pizza, but the ingredients are so plain "meat, pastry" that you wont be distracted by the wacky colours that a pizza offers. That means more time analysing every touch Arsenal's midfielders have on the ball so you can perfect your Fantasy League score.

3. Kebab

Meat on stick with the spice for life. No matter where you are in the world you will be able to find it. Whether you're asked to watch your wife's little cousin play at some pitch out in the suburbs, or if you are downtown Munich I guarantee there WILL BE A KEBAB PLACE within 5km.

2. Big Chicken Salad

Trick your friends and make them think you are concerned about your weight and health! Hell, they might even think you are a decent soccer player. Say something like " Yeah, I gotta playoff game this afternoon" or "There's like 30g of protein in this shit".

1. The Beef Dipper

Beef on a baguette has been my favorite football-watchin' food for a long time. Its simple, bland, full of great useless carbs and is served with a side of the juices it was cooked in. It is also very contagious. Usually whenever someone orders this, 2 or 3 other people queue in to get one. This meal is defiantly a team player.

Get well.. Mr. Hume

After suffering a near-fatal head injury during a game with Sheffield United, the Soctland-born and Brampton native is getting better. He has moved out of the high dependency ward of Manchester Hospital yesterday and all our hopes and prayers are here for him

Get well sir.