A Culinary Guide to Football

Top of the Mornin' to you.


Ahead of another weekend of Premier League action, I want to discuss some of the best of the best foods to pig out on while watching a game. These are a list of the top 5 foods to eat out at a pub, in a stadium or standing on a street corner watching the game through the window of a local television store.

5. English Breakfast / Pint of Ale / Cup of Coffee

This is the favorite of the North American soccer viewer. In order to catch lots of games, we have to drag our ass to the pub early in the morning. Arriving as early as 8am on a Saturday sometimes a greasy breakfast + a coffee + a pint of beer is perfect for watching any English or Scottish league game. Coffee does wonders in cleaning your pallet each time for a wonderful taste sensation of a piss-warm English ale. MMm mmm good!

4. Burek

Whether you are preparing for a football riot on the streets of Belgrade for the next Red stars game, or sitting in with your Nana having a cuppa tea and watching the game on the flat screen, this eastern-European treat is a versatile and delicious snack. Again greasy as hell and probably goes well with beer. The best thing about this is that its shaped like a pizza, but the ingredients are so plain "meat, pastry" that you wont be distracted by the wacky colours that a pizza offers. That means more time analysing every touch Arsenal's midfielders have on the ball so you can perfect your Fantasy League score.

3. Kebab

Meat on stick with the spice for life. No matter where you are in the world you will be able to find it. Whether you're asked to watch your wife's little cousin play at some pitch out in the suburbs, or if you are downtown Munich I guarantee there WILL BE A KEBAB PLACE within 5km.

2. Big Chicken Salad

Trick your friends and make them think you are concerned about your weight and health! Hell, they might even think you are a decent soccer player. Say something like " Yeah, I gotta playoff game this afternoon" or "There's like 30g of protein in this shit".

1. The Beef Dipper

Beef on a baguette has been my favorite football-watchin' food for a long time. Its simple, bland, full of great useless carbs and is served with a side of the juices it was cooked in. It is also very contagious. Usually whenever someone orders this, 2 or 3 other people queue in to get one. This meal is defiantly a team player.