Saturday, November 29, 2008

The New Deal for Newcastle United

This photo sums up what has been going on in the EPL as of late.  Last weekend saw the entire top 4 draw without a single goal.  Now similar shinanigans are happening this weekend and in the Champions league as well.

Maybe its the cold weather, maybe its thoes lazy strikers, but I tend to think there has just been a lot of great defending.

A prime example, and a player that I want to highlight as one of my favorites to watch since the season began.  This is none other than Newcastle United's Fabrizio Coloccini.  I watched this guys defending against Manchester United at the begining of the season and truly beleived he was going to be a crucial part success for Newcastle.  He's big, fast and lanky and is an absolute brick wall for any kind of cross comming inside the box.  Using a skilled defensive line, Newcastle have been able to draw 2 points from their away encounters at both Standford Bridge and Old Trafford.  

Many people beleive the Premier League is about the big-four clashes, but in many cases this certainly isn't true.  Being able to grind out these kind of results away are what is keeping Newcastle above the relegation zone and preventing the big four from actually gaining ground on each other.  Its a dangerous way of playing, and by no means is it entertaining for the fans, but I beleive that what makes a team or a manager is their ability to know when to sit on the back heal and weather the storm.

So I have advice for the folks at St. Jame's park.  Defend for your lives boys.  Thats right, bard up the doors, shackle it up and get ready for a long seige.

Everyone knows the piles of problems going on at Newcastle.  From the managerial problems, boardroom problems and the fact that Joey Barton (everyones favorite scumbag) is now injured.  The only good they can really do is to just go Greek style and put all men back and hope for the best.

So in light of this, I have compiled a buying list of what the ideal Newcastle side should be come the January transfer window:

There are a number of reasons why this works for Newcastle:

a) You aren't scoring any goals now, so what's the bloody difference?

b)  If you turn Richard Dunne around, or get him to run backwards maybe he will score goals on the apposing goal instead of his own goal.

c) Defenders are CHEAP.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Gypsy King

Good evening my friends. I've been on this thing called Facebook. And somehow I think the guys who run the place have finally started leaking all my personal information to companies. Yeah, like we didn't all see that coming from a mile away. Either way, I have been getting frequent requests for my Premier League Picks.

And I did it.

Now press play on the Youtube video above and become lost in the music as we delve into this weekends action.

Look into my Crystal Ball....loook deeper...deeeeeeper...

I see Liverpool and Chelsea continueing their winning streaks. Yes!

I see Villa tieing Man U and Hull are going to upset Pompey!  

I see the boys at Tottenham getting their winning ways back!

Okay lets snap out of it and look at my predictions for the weekend:

Now, I am going to go through this list on Monday and post my stats to see if I am any good at this. If its anything like my Fantasy Football skills, I will probably looking very much in the red.

Thank god I'm not a gamblin' man.

Either way, if I get all of these right, I think someone should buy me a delicious meal and watch a game with me on the weekend!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Tuesday Triple Sampler

Keeping with Mondays silly post on Rory Delap (well not that funny if your an Arsenal or Villa fan), I scrounged up some more football bloopers.

I think its much better to look at this stuff mid-week than all the lame transfer drama and managerial jargon. If you notice, I don't concentrate on that stuff. Never have and hopefully never will.

I found these all on, which is one of my favorite new websites. Its great for finding whats popular on Youtube.

Here are some of this weeks favorites:

1. Stupid Silly Goals

2. 2 Goals in 30 Seconds

3. Chris Iwelumo misses open goal

Monday, November 17, 2008

Muscley Arms

If you haven't been looking at Stoke City, and haven't seen there secret weapon. Let me bring you up to speed:

Seeing how its Monday morning and I have a super busy day I am going to share with you some funny photoshop jobs on Mr. Rory's muscley arms and absolute throw-in power.  Enjoyeeee!


Saturday, November 15, 2008

A Thrilla from Villa

Earlier this week, Michael Essien publicly criticized Arsenal, say they were all style, no substance. Couldn't agree with you more, sir. You called it!

Enough about Arsenal though, lets talk about Villa.

Villa played this game very well. In all aspects they looked like a great team. Offensively they were all over Arsenal, comfortable playing the game in front of the Aresenal goal as well as maintaining a rock solid defence. An early attempt by Gareth Barry showed the strength and versatility this team has.

Everyone talks about how "beautiful" Arsenal's passing is, but today Villa look much more stylish and displayed way more strength in the midfield. And nothing is more ugly than sloppy defending, which was the cause of both of Villas goals:

Its a shame Villalost to Newcastle a couple of weeks ago because this team has so much potential of breaking the top 4.

Friday, November 14, 2008

A Culinary Guide to Football

Top of the Mornin' to you.

Ahead of another weekend of Premier League action, I want to discuss some of the best of the best foods to pig out on while watching a game. These are a list of the top 5 foods to eat out at a pub, in a stadium or standing on a street corner watching the game through the window of a local television store.

5. English Breakfast / Pint of Ale / Cup of Coffee

This is the favorite of the North American soccer viewer. In order to catch lots of games, we have to drag our ass to the pub early in the morning. Arriving as early as 8am on a Saturday sometimes a greasy breakfast + a coffee + a pint of beer is perfect for watching any English or Scottish league game. Coffee does wonders in cleaning your pallet each time for a wonderful taste sensation of a piss-warm English ale. MMm mmm good!

4. Burek

Whether you are preparing for a football riot on the streets of Belgrade for the next Red stars game, or sitting in with your Nana having a cuppa tea and watching the game on the flat screen, this eastern-European treat is a versatile and delicious snack. Again greasy as hell and probably goes well with beer. The best thing about this is that its shaped like a pizza, but the ingredients are so plain "meat, pastry" that you wont be distracted by the wacky colours that a pizza offers. That means more time analysing every touch Arsenal's midfielders have on the ball so you can perfect your Fantasy League score.

3. Kebab

Meat on stick with the spice for life. No matter where you are in the world you will be able to find it. Whether you're asked to watch your wife's little cousin play at some pitch out in the suburbs, or if you are downtown Munich I guarantee there WILL BE A KEBAB PLACE within 5km.

2. Big Chicken Salad

Trick your friends and make them think you are concerned about your weight and health! Hell, they might even think you are a decent soccer player. Say something like " Yeah, I gotta playoff game this afternoon" or "There's like 30g of protein in this shit".

1. The Beef Dipper

Beef on a baguette has been my favorite football-watchin' food for a long time. Its simple, bland, full of great useless carbs and is served with a side of the juices it was cooked in. It is also very contagious. Usually whenever someone orders this, 2 or 3 other people queue in to get one. This meal is defiantly a team player.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Get well.. Mr. Hume

After suffering a near-fatal head injury during a game with Sheffield United, the Soctland-born and Brampton native is getting better. He has moved out of the high dependency ward of Manchester Hospital yesterday and all our hopes and prayers are here for him

Get well sir.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Nick'n the Top Spot

I was having problems at the start of this years EPL season trying to figure out who was going to be this years top scorer.

I mulled it over. Surely it will be Torres. Last year he made such a dazzling debut with Liverpool and by the end of the season last year it seemed that he had some unfinished business to take care of. Then he began a lengthy stint of riding the pine.

Okay, so its not Torres. Well, it must be Adebeyor! With his cheetah-like speed with sniper rifel accuracy I was sure he would net at least 10 or 15 by now. Then Arsenal got into a rut, lost some games and he got injured.

Who else Drogba? No wait, he's injured. Rooney? Was looking hot for a while but Man U is in some weird transition phase.

Let me get to the point.

I never thought Anelka would be top of the table right now. BUT HE IS. He has manged to put together 10 goals thus far and although none of them have been sensational or jaw-dropping, his consitancy remains somewhat of a mystery to me.

I had a full beleif in this Chelsea side this year, but I always though the goals would be comming from the middle with players like Lampard, Joe Cole, Deco and Ballack. When the Robinho transfer saga was over, I was sure that Chelsea were doomed up front. But some how, some way, Nick Anelka has been consitently pulling through and has creeped to the apex of the EPL top goals list.

I think the reason why so many people have overlooked Anelka in the past is because he doesn't show off. He isn't the guy who is going to crack the ball into the back of the net.

Here is a perfect example of Anelka's cool, calm scoring style (while he was back at Bolton):

Not the net-shattering stuff you will see from players like Wayne Rooney, but you have to hand it to the guy. He is clever. He knows when to turn on the gas, how to keep his cool when a keeper charges out and has the restrain to finish without a bang.

He scored a hat trick against Sunderland the other week with his sneakyness.

So the sneaky Frenchman has not brought the kind of shwashbuckling football players like Drogba, Torres and Adeybyor do but has showed that a striker can play with sly positioning cunning intelligence to bring himself and his team to the top of the table.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Arsenal 2 - 1 Man U

Videos for your life.

I missed the game today, but I heard it was a great match and that Arsenal are back into their swing!

Arsenal 1 - 0 Man U

Arsenal 2 - 0 Man U : This is what happens when you give the Gunners time to dance around outside the box:

Arsenal 2 - 1 Man U



If you are like me, you are doing absolutely brutal in Fantasy Leagues, then I want to share a link that i just found.

Its called and it provides a list of all the injured players, when they are scheduled to return and the likelihood of them making it to the next big match.


Even when you aren't nerding it up in a fantasy league, its still great to know who is going to be playing on your team. It even shows the injury!

Michael Essien out till March!?


Friday, November 7, 2008

kits of the future

Good day folks,

Today I want to take your time and pry you away from this weeks Champions league excitement to take a look at this years best kits. Thats right, I will be running through some of the most stylish, eye-catching or just plain weird kits this year.

A jersey showcases a teams reputation, history and style. They come in all different fits and forms. Some with collars, some without. Some have vibrant eye-catching colours and others revel in the feeling of a bland but old-school colour. What is really amazing is how much these kits represent their teams in such conscious and unconscious ways.

So without further adue, please let me show you some of my favorite kits for the 08/09 season:

Manchester City: Away 08/09, Premier League
One of the few teams to have Le Coq Sportif sponsor their equip. I dont know what I like more about this, the retro-90's goalkeeper "acid wash" in the red stripes or the neon yellow bird. It looks like something out of Nintendo's Virtual Boy.
Get this kit while it lasts though, Man City will be switching to Puma shortly.

Olympique Lyonnais 3rd Shirt, Ligue 1

Call me a sucker for the dark shirts, but the Lyon 3rd shirt just looks so damn menacing. If batman played football, he would most likely have a kit like this. The stripe on the side is classy and there isn't too much going on to get you distracted.

Werder Bremen: 3rd, Bundisliga
This looks more like a blog template than a football jersey. Leave it to Kappa though to make a brown/lime green shirt that fits like a glove. It takes real balls to throw on a brown jersey and look intimidating, but I think this shirt pulls it off nicely. Its got a really interesting collar too...
Chievo Verona, Serie A
It has a knight with a jousting pole on a horse AND its yellow. Deal with it.
Barcelona 3rd, La Liga
One of the better attempts at a high-contrast neon shirt. Its really pleasing on the eye, high visibility and has a NGO as the sponsor. If there was ever a kit to make you feel good about the world, it would be the fan-owned, unicef sponsored Barca shirt.

Sheffield Wednesday, Coca Cola Championship
Its simple, and I really like how the black-and-white owl sketch sits on the orange and blue. Its loud with the color scheme but really simple and classic.

Monday, November 3, 2008

EPL: Unpredictably Predictable

This weekend showed us a number of key upsets in the EPL, but at the same time restored the kind of order at the top of the table that we are used to.

With Spurs continuing their resilient streak and ousting Liverpool in the last minute, not only has the premier league showed us how unpredictable things can be (in the sense that Spurs were bet to loose or lucky to tie) but also how predictable the dominance of the top 4 can be.

Let me explain further. Hull 3 -4 Man U. Hull really has been what Reading was last year. They have been eating up points from all the mid-table hacks, stunned Arsenal and gave it to Man United for most of this game. Teams coming up from the Championship are so scrappy and have really been giving it to there bigger clubs, but in the end Manchester came away with 3 points. Hull certainly brought the drama to Man U, but at the end of the day the super club was able to salvage 3 points from these rapscallions.

Even Fergie himself said this week that Villa may were the only ones capable to nick a place in the top spot. They had the chance to today and lost to the most unlikely of opponents . Wasn't expecting that!

Oh yeah and if things couldn't get any worse for the gunners they lost 3 points to Stoke. In a game that can only be summed up by this video:

So. Lots of crazy stuff happened this week. Too much to handle. But what isn't exciting is this: the big 4 somehow are still at the top.